This morning I read an interesting post by John DiJulius III:
What if Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Howard Schultz, Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, The Beatles, Nelson Mandela, or Muhammad Ali choose to be ordinary? What would the world be like today?
Mother Teresa once said, "We are not here to do great things, only small things with great love." However we look at it, we have the power to make an ordinary day extraordinary in our own small corner of the world. Think about it.
Showing posts with label mediation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mediation. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Is this Hope I'm Feeling?
Almost 24 hours later, and Egypt's "Day of Departure" was a surprise. Comparable to the U.S. Million Man March on DC., tens of thousands of peaceful demonstrators are still standing--some bandaged and wounded, some holding signs, and most with looks of hope on their faces. One reporter's blog read, "Fear has been defeated. There's no turning back."
From last night's reports, I expected a day of terror in anticipation of the scheduled demonstration. Instead, I feel some hope that the Egyptian people will be heard. Most want President Mubarak to leave now. They don't want outsiders to make decisions for them. These are basic principles of mediation. People get a voice, and they make their own decisions. My hope is that somehow Mubarak will listen to his people and be able to leave with a sense of dignity, showing them that he can lead them through this crisis.
From last night's reports, I expected a day of terror in anticipation of the scheduled demonstration. Instead, I feel some hope that the Egyptian people will be heard. Most want President Mubarak to leave now. They don't want outsiders to make decisions for them. These are basic principles of mediation. People get a voice, and they make their own decisions. My hope is that somehow Mubarak will listen to his people and be able to leave with a sense of dignity, showing them that he can lead them through this crisis.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Cairo in Crisis
It's 2 A.M., and I'm not sure where I'm going with this...just random thoughts and feelings as I sit in our comfortable family room on a peaceful February morning watching Anderson Cooper and other journalists "reporting from an undisclosed location" in Egypt.
One Egyptian commentator (Mr. Ajami) said yesterday that the people didn't think they had enough room in their hearts for more heartbreak. Yet their peaceful demonstrations beginning 10 days ago have now taken a nasty turn as of yesterday. It's hard for me to wrap my arms around the violent images shown on CNN and elsewhere. How is it I am so blessed to be this safe, this protected, this peaceful while a world away others fight for democracy by civil disobedience and in some cases fight for their lives?
As a mediator, I'm trained to look for the win-win in conflict without going to war with each other. This seems so remote at the moment for the 80 million people of Egypt. While I go to bed soon and absorb the lovely silence of the night, I am struck by images of protesters in Cairo breaking up concrete streets into chunks to use as weapons and of a van blatantly mowing down pedestrians.
This crisis is hardly something to sleep on. I still pray for peace this day.
One Egyptian commentator (Mr. Ajami) said yesterday that the people didn't think they had enough room in their hearts for more heartbreak. Yet their peaceful demonstrations beginning 10 days ago have now taken a nasty turn as of yesterday. It's hard for me to wrap my arms around the violent images shown on CNN and elsewhere. How is it I am so blessed to be this safe, this protected, this peaceful while a world away others fight for democracy by civil disobedience and in some cases fight for their lives?
As a mediator, I'm trained to look for the win-win in conflict without going to war with each other. This seems so remote at the moment for the 80 million people of Egypt. While I go to bed soon and absorb the lovely silence of the night, I am struck by images of protesters in Cairo breaking up concrete streets into chunks to use as weapons and of a van blatantly mowing down pedestrians.
This crisis is hardly something to sleep on. I still pray for peace this day.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Peace on earth: "Let it begin with me"
The old hymn, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me" seems a perfect one to consider as the events in Tucson, Arizona last week unfold in greater detail over the attempted killing of Gabrielle Giffords and others.
Politicians and pundits talk of "toning down the rhetoric" and "civility" and "coming together as a nation." Haven't we heard all this following every tragedy in the last hundred years?
And yet every election, we see most politicians using smear tactics in their ads that seem to get only bolder. We hear of children being bullied (some suiciding) in schools that turn a deaf ear to pleas for help from the targets. We witness rudeness by others (sometimes by ourselves) with little regard for the impact that words and actions may have.
Civility is the responsibility of each one of us. We aim for this in every mediation...that disputants may speak their minds respectfully even when emotions run high.
Why is being civil so hard? Because we put ourselves first. People used to wave a hand to gesture a thank you when a driver would let them out of a gas station into traffic. I don't see that so often any more. Shoppers in grocery lines are in such a rush that they don't always notice the person behind them with only a few items compared to their cartful. We used to invite them to step in front of us. Malls are often scenes of drivers racing to get the closest spot, sometimes even leading to violence.
These and hundreds of other examples of daily incivility remind me that peace on earth doesn't just happen. It's not just for the lawmakers. It begins with me.
Politicians and pundits talk of "toning down the rhetoric" and "civility" and "coming together as a nation." Haven't we heard all this following every tragedy in the last hundred years?
And yet every election, we see most politicians using smear tactics in their ads that seem to get only bolder. We hear of children being bullied (some suiciding) in schools that turn a deaf ear to pleas for help from the targets. We witness rudeness by others (sometimes by ourselves) with little regard for the impact that words and actions may have.
Civility is the responsibility of each one of us. We aim for this in every mediation...that disputants may speak their minds respectfully even when emotions run high.
Why is being civil so hard? Because we put ourselves first. People used to wave a hand to gesture a thank you when a driver would let them out of a gas station into traffic. I don't see that so often any more. Shoppers in grocery lines are in such a rush that they don't always notice the person behind them with only a few items compared to their cartful. We used to invite them to step in front of us. Malls are often scenes of drivers racing to get the closest spot, sometimes even leading to violence.
These and hundreds of other examples of daily incivility remind me that peace on earth doesn't just happen. It's not just for the lawmakers. It begins with me.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Fears of Mediation in the Workplace
Yesterday, I read an interesting post on mediate.com by Clive Lewis, MBA, a mediator and past HR director in the UK. He discussed four reasons why CEOs and workforce decision-makers are afraid to try mediation.
1. It's easier to ignore the conflict than address it. 2. If I admit to conflict, I admit to failure as a manger/director, etc. 3. It's easier for corporate to throw money at someone to make the problem go away. 4. Poor understanding of how conflict negatively impacts profit margins.
Whether in the UK or in the USA, these irrational fears exist. Until coporate realizes the time and cost savings of mediation, and the millions of dollars wasted in sick pay, poor performance, unhappy workers, slower production and more, we will continue to advance the theory, "If I ignore it, it will go away."
1. It's easier to ignore the conflict than address it. 2. If I admit to conflict, I admit to failure as a manger/director, etc. 3. It's easier for corporate to throw money at someone to make the problem go away. 4. Poor understanding of how conflict negatively impacts profit margins.
Whether in the UK or in the USA, these irrational fears exist. Until coporate realizes the time and cost savings of mediation, and the millions of dollars wasted in sick pay, poor performance, unhappy workers, slower production and more, we will continue to advance the theory, "If I ignore it, it will go away."
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Elder Mediation: What's in a Name?
I just came across a 2009 blog by Stephanie West Allen re: our book, Elder Mediation: A New Solution to Age-Old Problems. Believe it or not, I agree with her re: not liking the Elder Mediation (EM) term because 1) it seems lopsided in focus, excluding everyone else involved in the conflict and 2) older adults do not like the term “elder,” especially in America.
However, in researching for our book, we found that the term is fairly well established among mediators. From inside the profession, we all know what it means; for consumers, it’s not commonly known. I think ACR has a new division for EM, but it is called something else that is more inclusive. Since our target market is largely the mediation community, we went with the more familiar term EM.
Who knows what in 50 years it will be called. I like Stephanie West's term intergenerational mediation; have also seen it under family mediation. However, these seem to exclude the organizational issues from nursing home/AL, physician/older adult disputes, funeral home/family disputes, etc. Am looking forward to seeing how the field unfolds and what term “wins out” in the end.
Interestingly, during the last 10 years or so, the topic of what to call people over 60 has come up a lot at professional planning meetings I’ve attended. We’ve asked these folks what they prefer to be called, and many of them can’t agree. Here in Ohio, they don’t like the terms senior, older, golden-ager, elder, late life adult…They’re not sure what to call themselves either!
The dialogue continues...
However, in researching for our book, we found that the term is fairly well established among mediators. From inside the profession, we all know what it means; for consumers, it’s not commonly known. I think ACR has a new division for EM, but it is called something else that is more inclusive. Since our target market is largely the mediation community, we went with the more familiar term EM.
Who knows what in 50 years it will be called. I like Stephanie West's term intergenerational mediation; have also seen it under family mediation. However, these seem to exclude the organizational issues from nursing home/AL, physician/older adult disputes, funeral home/family disputes, etc. Am looking forward to seeing how the field unfolds and what term “wins out” in the end.
Interestingly, during the last 10 years or so, the topic of what to call people over 60 has come up a lot at professional planning meetings I’ve attended. We’ve asked these folks what they prefer to be called, and many of them can’t agree. Here in Ohio, they don’t like the terms senior, older, golden-ager, elder, late life adult…They’re not sure what to call themselves either!
The dialogue continues...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Forgiveness and Second Chances
I wish I knew Bernie Kosar personally, especially after reading his story by sports writer Terry Pluto (The Plain Dealer, August 14, 2010), “Former quarterback begins second half”. Bernie’s first half of life was full of ups and down…the ups very high (beloved Cleveland Brown’s quarterback from 1985 – 1993, beautiful family, side businesses) and the downs very low (dropped from the team by Coach Bill Belichick mid-season, nasty divorce, bankruptcy).
What I most admire is that Kosar doesn’t hold grudges even against people who changed his life so drastically when he thought he lost everything. This example of forgiveness is one from which we can all learn. Not only has Kosar had a second chance to create a new life, but he has given painful relationships the same respect and courtesy by forgiving.
In our mediation practice, there are times when the question of forgiveness arises…a spouse who apologizes for not speaking to his ex for two years since the divorce and affecting the kids’ relationship; a physician who apologizes for miscommunication with a patient; an older parent who apologizes to his adult children for not being there enough as they were being raised. When the apology is followed by forgiveness of those offended, the seeds of healing are planted.
Of course not every apology is well received and forgiveness is denied the “offender.” But for those who, like Kosar, choose not to hold grudges and give the gift of forgiveness, the second chance is all the sweeter.
What I most admire is that Kosar doesn’t hold grudges even against people who changed his life so drastically when he thought he lost everything. This example of forgiveness is one from which we can all learn. Not only has Kosar had a second chance to create a new life, but he has given painful relationships the same respect and courtesy by forgiving.
In our mediation practice, there are times when the question of forgiveness arises…a spouse who apologizes for not speaking to his ex for two years since the divorce and affecting the kids’ relationship; a physician who apologizes for miscommunication with a patient; an older parent who apologizes to his adult children for not being there enough as they were being raised. When the apology is followed by forgiveness of those offended, the seeds of healing are planted.
Of course not every apology is well received and forgiveness is denied the “offender.” But for those who, like Kosar, choose not to hold grudges and give the gift of forgiveness, the second chance is all the sweeter.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Patti's Blog
This is my first blog, so please bear with me as I become more techno-savvy. Professionally, I'm a clinical counselor, mediator, author and presenter.
I look forward to our exchanges, especially if you have tips and practical information to offer our readers.
I look forward to our exchanges, especially if you have tips and practical information to offer our readers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
