Sunday, May 30, 2010
Peace is not for wimps
Many famous peacemakers--Martin Luther King, John Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, Gandhi, Jesus--have been killed for their efforts. Most of us can give our lives as peacemakers without fear of martyrdom. Author Henri Nouwen says, "Peace is Shalom--well-being of mind, heart and body individually and communally. It can exist in the midst of a war-torn world, even in the midst of unresolved problems and increasing human conflicts." I can be a peacemaker in the simplest, though not necessarily easiest of ways. Really listen to someone I don't care for. Pay attention at work to someone who is hurting and offer a kind word or a prayer. Secretly do an unexpected good deed. Deepak Chopra says in his Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, "Always being a gift." He doesn't mean a purchased one. It could be a smile, a flower, a shoulder to lean on. Find someone today who could use a little peace and bring it.
Friday, May 28, 2010
What Memorial Day Really Means
My dad served in the US Air Force just as WWII ended. He didn't speak much about his days in the military, but it was how he lived, how he and mom raised our family, how he served his church and community that I also honor on Memorial Day. A friend sent this piece about what we owe our veterans. Thank you, Dad and all past and present verterans for giving us so much that we often take for granted.
It is the VETERAN, not the preacher,
who has given us freedom of religion.
It is the VETERAN, not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the VETERAN, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the VETERAN, not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble.
It is the VETERAN, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the VETERAN, not the politician,
who has given us the right to vote.
It is the VETERAN who salutes the Flag.
It is the VETERAN, not the preacher,
who has given us freedom of religion.
It is the VETERAN, not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the VETERAN, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the VETERAN, not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble.
It is the VETERAN, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the VETERAN, not the politician,
who has given us the right to vote.
It is the VETERAN who salutes the Flag.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
On getting older
This morning, 350 people attended an Older Adult Day of Reflection Resource Fair at St. Basil Church in Brecksville,Ohio. I was invited as one of the "resources," and since our table was in a prime location near the entrance, I got to chat with about 1/2 the group as they passed by on their way to lunch. Plus I had a bowl of Tootsie Rolls next to my business cards making it harder for them to resist stopping by.
My overall impression of these elders is that they seem to be in a good place--at home in their skin, not worried about what others think of how they look or dress or what kind of job used to have. Most were talkative, aware, kind and appreciative of the morning's Mass with Bishop Pevec, time of reflection, resources available to them and luncheon.
Whether walking on their own, in wheel chairs or with walkers, they showed up. A great lesson for us all. Show up in life. Participate. Smile. Offer a kind word. Crack a joke. Be at home in your own skin. These simple life lessons our elders still teach us.
My overall impression of these elders is that they seem to be in a good place--at home in their skin, not worried about what others think of how they look or dress or what kind of job used to have. Most were talkative, aware, kind and appreciative of the morning's Mass with Bishop Pevec, time of reflection, resources available to them and luncheon.
Whether walking on their own, in wheel chairs or with walkers, they showed up. A great lesson for us all. Show up in life. Participate. Smile. Offer a kind word. Crack a joke. Be at home in your own skin. These simple life lessons our elders still teach us.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Got $10?
For the cost of Cover Girl lip color/gloss, a few bags of potato chips or a few Starbucks coffees, you can help the homeless. Some friends of mine published a recipe book (cost $10) and the proceeds all go to Cleveland's Metanoia Hopistality Center--a homeless shelter for men and women which offers lodging, meals, supplies and help with low-income housing. Almost all employees of the Center were once homeless! Their recipe book is called Room at the Table and includes a few recipes from the homeless themselves. If you'd like to order a copy, please contact St. Matthias Church in Parma, Ohio by calling (440) 888-8220. I've already made the Tomato Pie and Spinach Bars...delicious!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Are you shy?
This morning I'm thinking about my great niece Brittany who is 10. She's not at all shy at home, but put her among strangers or ask her if she wants to become an altar server, she reverts to a wall flower. So she has both tendencies right now, and we'll see in the future what her dominant natural preference will be: introvert or extrovert.
While it makes sense that introverted people may be shy, believe it or not, people we might consider extroverted can be shy as well in certain situations.
Some of history’s finest thinkers, artists, musicians and creative developers suffered from social phobia. It is said that Thomas Jefferson gave almost no public speeches because of this. Some of the world’s richest and most successful people are challenged by social phobia, including Microsoft founder Paul Allen and author and Prairie Home Companion radio show host Garrison Keillor, Queen Elizabeth, Johnny Carson and others who would surprise you.
The clinical term for shyness is social phobia, which can manifest itself in a lack of confidence, discomfort in social settings, the inability to think quickly on your feet or more.
While charming in young children, shyness in adults can prove to be a barrier in social and business settings and can lead to missed opportunities for pleasant experiences and career advancement. In addition, a shy person may also be reluctant to be assertive, communicating his or her needs in a way that others treat them with respect.
The good news is that that help is available. With more than 20 years of experience as Professional Clinical Counselor, I've helped many clients learn successful ways to combat their shyness and enrich their personal and professional relationship. You don’t really get over shyness, but there are so many helps for changing shy behaviors and becoming more confident.
As a shy introvert myself, and based on my own experiences struggling with this challenge and the help I've given my clients, I recently published “88 Tips for Shy Introverts: Becoming Personally and Professionally Assertive.” This practical booklet can be used as a guide and checklist to make communication and behavioral changes quickly.
Here are a few tips from the booklet:
#19. Respond to disrespectful remarks by respectfully saying, "I'd never allow anyone to talk to you like that." Then walk away or hang up the phone.
#5. Be decisive. When someone asks your opinion, e.g., where you want to eat lunch or what movies to see, etc., give an answer. Avoid "I don't care" or "whatever" responses.
#10. Compliment a stranger. Become comfortable giving a compliment to someone in the cafeteria, on a bus, in the library. Say, "I love your shoes," or "What a great golf shirt." Putting others at ease is a first step in gaining confidence and setting a comfortable tone for a conversation.
TODAY'S ACTION:
Give a sincere compliment to a stranger at church, in the mall, at a gas station...wherever you are. Notice his/her reaction and how you feel as a result.
While it makes sense that introverted people may be shy, believe it or not, people we might consider extroverted can be shy as well in certain situations.
Some of history’s finest thinkers, artists, musicians and creative developers suffered from social phobia. It is said that Thomas Jefferson gave almost no public speeches because of this. Some of the world’s richest and most successful people are challenged by social phobia, including Microsoft founder Paul Allen and author and Prairie Home Companion radio show host Garrison Keillor, Queen Elizabeth, Johnny Carson and others who would surprise you.
The clinical term for shyness is social phobia, which can manifest itself in a lack of confidence, discomfort in social settings, the inability to think quickly on your feet or more.
While charming in young children, shyness in adults can prove to be a barrier in social and business settings and can lead to missed opportunities for pleasant experiences and career advancement. In addition, a shy person may also be reluctant to be assertive, communicating his or her needs in a way that others treat them with respect.
The good news is that that help is available. With more than 20 years of experience as Professional Clinical Counselor, I've helped many clients learn successful ways to combat their shyness and enrich their personal and professional relationship. You don’t really get over shyness, but there are so many helps for changing shy behaviors and becoming more confident.
As a shy introvert myself, and based on my own experiences struggling with this challenge and the help I've given my clients, I recently published “88 Tips for Shy Introverts: Becoming Personally and Professionally Assertive.” This practical booklet can be used as a guide and checklist to make communication and behavioral changes quickly.
Here are a few tips from the booklet:
#19. Respond to disrespectful remarks by respectfully saying, "I'd never allow anyone to talk to you like that." Then walk away or hang up the phone.
#5. Be decisive. When someone asks your opinion, e.g., where you want to eat lunch or what movies to see, etc., give an answer. Avoid "I don't care" or "whatever" responses.
#10. Compliment a stranger. Become comfortable giving a compliment to someone in the cafeteria, on a bus, in the library. Say, "I love your shoes," or "What a great golf shirt." Putting others at ease is a first step in gaining confidence and setting a comfortable tone for a conversation.
TODAY'S ACTION:
Give a sincere compliment to a stranger at church, in the mall, at a gas station...wherever you are. Notice his/her reaction and how you feel as a result.
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