The lessons of Tucson

Is it about gun control? vitriolic rhetoric? mental illness? congressional civility? Since the shooting of Representative Gabrielle Giffords, we've seen and heard hundreds of reports, editorials, commentators and water cooler discussions on the topic of "what caused this."

While I believe that all these are significant topics, nothing is going to change the fact that people can get guns on the street, that mental illness is here to stay despite our best efforts to help the sufferers, and that no matter how much politicians and others tone down their conversations, we have not gotten to the heart of the problem.

America accepts violence as a way of life. Not the only way, but a way. We live in a culture in which bullying, road rage, domestic violence, drugs, shootings and what one commentator called "ideological bloodsport" in smear campaigns make daily headlines. We tend to turn the other way until it happens to us. And then for a time we play nice, and return to our old ways.

Thomas Jefferson said in his March 4, 1801 Inaugural Address, "Every difference of opionion is not a difference of priciple." This is what mediators and other ADR practioners help clients learn. That we can find common ground; that we can resolve differences by focusing on the best possible outcome for all involved; that conflict resolution does not have to involve guns, slaps, jabs, slurs or other forms of violence.

America needs, as the Chicago Tribune editorial writes, to learn "quality conflict resolution with the ammo."